God knows what I need to do,
But am I ready?
Is it simply that easy?
It feels like it.
Decisions I should be making for my own happiness,
But am I already happy?
God please tell me why you keep doing this too me?
Am I failing you?
I know my well being isn't at the greatest point in my life,
But lord please tell me that you know that I am trying!
Please tell me that you see me try to shove down these meals,
That my body no longer wants to eat.
You cannot tell me that you don't see me,
Waking everyday with knifes in my back,
That I forgot to take out at night,
Lord please tell me this is the end,
Of these sleepless nights?
Please tell me this isn't what I need to do,
And I know it feels right,
But please don't make me do it.
I am fighting everyday,
I know you hear me scream at night!
The minute they pronounce me as
"Cancer Patient",
God you knew,
This was going to be done.
Is that why you were preparing me?
All these years of suffering and aching,
Is that why when I sleep, I can't lay on my chest through the night?
Is that why you kept hurting me lord?
Please tell me is that why?
I feel it.
You know I do feel this pain,
In between my chest,
I feel it sometimes,
But lord I feel it.
Am I not good enough?
Why didn't the times I wanted to be gone,
Work?
Why all of a sudden,
This pain is coming back,
I never get a break,
I am cursed.
God, please hear me.
Is this what I need to do?
Do I hold his hand, and never let him go?
Or do I walk away, and let him find a true love?
Lord please hear me,
I cannot take this anymore.
Make me feel beautiful,
I just want to be loved.
Lord hear me.
Why don't you love me ...