I'm not a very strong swimmer, I'm trying really hard to keep my head above the water.
My soul is exhausted, my body and my mind are going through absolute torture.
Me, panicking, makes it even harder to stay afloat...
I ain't going out like this! Hell no!! I ain't going out on this note!
I'll keep trying to swim through the rising swells and waves, I'll paddle and backstroke my way back to shore,
I'll do what a survivor does, I'll keep swimming until I just can't swim no more.
I'm usually as warm and bright as a little ray of sunshine...
But, lately, I can't even seem to radiate as much light as the dimmest glare of moon shine.
I've been a warrior all of my life, my history is my proof,
But I'm not as strong as I once was, I'm not as resistant as I was in my youth.
I'm gonna make it back to shore. And if I happen to lose my pen along the way... I'll be alright!
I'll write my message in the sand using my finger - in hope that God in heaven will read it, and bestow upon me some mercy, by shinning upon me some much needed courage, strength, and light.
I wrote this desperate piece when I left HP. I wasn't going to post it. It was written only as a release for my emotions (self-therapy) but what the heck! ...here it is.