My hair is still slightly damp
My socks fall down from the edge of my knees
I ate too many black beans
And my love whispered **** things
And I saw it all in the peak of my mind
Like his body and my body they
We're together in sound, smell, function
But I disappeared to a lone island
And dug my heels into heavy dirt.

Every day I'm learning to love myself
And sometimes it helps to paint it out
So much has changed
It's nearly given me whiplash
And somedays I'm so gracious so grateful
And like a bolt of lightning through the air
The next day I carry a fog with me.

I get to work on set tomorrow
I become more and more over it
As I spend time behind a desk
Making less money than I deserve
With serves that don't see the merit
I'm doing their hostesses right
But still I smile and act kind
Because it's not worth the misery
Unless I've slipped it under my feet
Along with the heavy dirt
From the island of lone.

I'm so lucky
I'm the luckiest
I should be so thankful
And each day a flurry of hateful thoughts
Some days louder and more noticeable
Echo and fluctuate
Echo and fluctuate

7am call time
It would be easier to sleep in my own bed
But all I want tonight
Is to go learn some things
To give and receive love
To eat autumnal portions
Nuzzle and find contentment
Purpose
Be myself
And wake up happy to be alive.