The concept of heaven titillates,
Bewilders and often befuddles.
Imagining how it operates
Leaves one in tangles and muddles.

Think of a woman whose husbands have numbered
At least two or three.
In heaven will they all be together?
How awkward that would be!

Let's say you want servants galore
To cater to every desire.
Is there perchance a sign on the Gates
That reads "Servants for Hire"?

If HER idea of heaven would mean
Being forever with HIM,
But HIS wishes do not include HER,
Her chances of bliss will be slim.

Though harp music is fine now and then,
Too much would be cloying.
But whiny, screechy electric guitars
Could also become annoying.

If winning's your thing, then heaven's for you,
Whatever the sport you choose.
But if you win, don't forget:
Somebody has to lose.

If for a dog heaven would be
Forever chasing cats,
Paradise for a cat might be
A constant supply of rats.

That would be fine and dandy for dogs
As far as we can tell.
For cats, however, the dogs' heaven
Would end up being cat hell.

The more you think about the idea,
The more it gets confusing.
You can try to figure it out,
But you can't win for losing.

- by Bob B