.
1. It's time to retreat
To call off the war, to turn in the trumpets,
To shut off our hearing aids to those who are bullet-riddled with Ritalin.
2. Leave passion at the door
The coat rack is missing, but that's what people are for,
Push them back into the closets with your woolen wares and see.
3. Check in your soul with the desk clerk
The bellhop promises to bring it up soon, but the elevator is out of order.
His trolly's wheels were stolen and the stairs are still on fire.
Sorry.
No refunds.
4. Lock all the doors and tip your cows
You're too tipsy for another round of room service anyways and the
police are planning a raid.
Tell the too young girls with the too old eyes the time has come to go and
stitch your innocence back on.
5. Check your bedstand for a bible and a razor
Ignore the semen stains; the key to salvation was paid in sin.
Put yourself on a pension plan because I hear the devil's running a good
racket.
Sorry.
No refunds.
6. Trash this place on Yelp. Trash this place in person.
The devil is hiding in the woodwork and there's a people zoo of women
dancing on the yellowed wallpaper.
The carpet smells like Daddy's cigarettes and Mommy's drunken spit-up.
7. w̶r̶i̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶e̶s̶s̶a̶g̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶r̶r̶o̶r̶
What a proud song:
Here's to the the nihilists, here's to the named,
Here's a vague attempt to mark the world in meaning.
8. Break the mirror instead
***Sorry.
No refunds.***
But they offer complimentary mints.