Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Not enough!
Not enough!
Not enough!
Not enough!
Please stop repeating it!!!

The hair pulling starts, STOP!
The staring into space starts, I’M SORRY!
The looking for something to feel again starts, I NEED THIS!
The screaming into endless voids of emptiness starts, I’M NOT ENOUGH!

My lips tremble as i place the blade to my skin,
My vision blurred with pain stained tears,
My hands steady as i make one swift movement,
Again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
And again,
STOP!
Mind flipping between people,
People i’ve let down,
People i’ve lost
People i’ve loved,
People i still love,
People i need,
People i’ve hurt,
People i wasn’t enough for,
And i’m sorry.

It’s my fault.
Always is!
My fault no one likes me for me.
My fault i’m forced to wear a mask everyday.
My fault i’m not happy.
My fault i’m scared.
Scared of letting people in.
For the fear of being used again.
Abused again.
Afraid someone will break me again.
My fault because i wear a mask and become someone else to protect myself.