For a long time, I didn't want to write because I was afraid of what would show up on my paper.
I avoided pencils, notebooks, and my therapist's advice to write down the feelings you have.

I know now that my mind was simply trying to protect me -
you see, the things I felt and the people I loved were too painful to think about.

I couldn't pick up a pencil and write in a notebook because that would have been the equivalent to picking up a handgun and loading it with bullets.

If I had followed through and pushed away my fear, I would probably be dead now. My notebook would be covered in blood.

Sometimes fear is a good thing - it keeps us alive when we need to be.