I used to love the smoke
The calm it brings
to my tortured mind

I used to love a glass
Filled up to the brim,
chugging it down
Drowning all my pain

I used to love a bed
Sleeping in it,
For hours on end
Wishing i could just sleep forever

I used to love to swear
As if every curse is a scream
That no one would hear
For the screams i heard are next to my room
Sometimes, its not just shouts that i hear

I used to love to lie
That i was okay
But i am not

I used to love the needle
Piercing my arm
For the sting is nothing compared
to the stabs at my back

I used to love not knowing
And knowing
What is right
but still chose what is wrong

All of this
Was before,

But Before there was after,
There was now