The past few nights
Your touch has tantalized my mind.
The way you feel against me
Leaves me shaking
Unable to keep from crying.

Not because it hurts
Or because it burns me.
But because your touch is so sweet
I can't help but fear
That one day it will be ripped from my reach.

And this terror i feel
Is not your fault,
I have scars that still sting
And bruises that don't fade.

They remind of the ones who left them,
Who left me.
They remind me
That you could do the same.

I hate the ones who left them
And I hate myself for still feeling their pain.
And letting their pain grow evergreen
In my brain.

They cut me deep
And i cant stop the bleeding.
They cut me so deep
I felt it fitting
To cut myself too.

I hate that i'm like this.
I hate that i can't just let go
Of all the memories
That broke my heart repeatedly.

If you knew what i felt,
You wouldn't feel the same.
If you could see me right now
Ugly crying and gasping for air,
You'd want nothing to do with me.

You said you love me
But how do you know?
Would you still love me
If i told you that i can't sleep
With your memory so fresh in my head?

I know what you'd say,
Something about me having to work on it.
And i know that
I know that this anxiety is something
That only i can dispel.

But validation
reassurance
a tight embrace
would make it so much easier
for me to look at your face
and not feel my heart ripping itself to shreds.

So keep telling me you love me
Keep holding me close
Keep kissing me
Just tell me everything will be okay
even if its a lie
even if it'll only calm my tides for a day