I've been in and out of therapy and partial hospitalization programs for about 20 years. you'd think by now I would be better or at least discover a new flavor of ice cream I enjoy but nope, I only like green mint.
there's a lot that's wrong with what I've been dealing with so I'm going to short list it:
start therapy see new psychiatrist psychiatrist prescribes me meds before my first therapy session even begins I hate my psychiatrist I hate my therapist therapy does nothing talking does nothing I start fantasizing about murdering animals it scares the ******* **** out of me I tell my psychiatrist she said it's the meds she prescribes me something else the fantasies stop my therapist thinks I have daddy issues my therapist won't stop talking about my father it's annoying I hate her I ask to see a new therapist in the same facility she asks why she asks about my fetishes she takes off her flats and crosses her legs I'm not sure if she does it intentionally I feel weird I see a new therapist I love my new therapist the first visit my psychiatrist is replaced my new therapist only sees me once I tell her everything she needs to know I feel amazing I feel like this is good she was a temp I am lost in the system I have no therapist for 4 months and no one sees to care my new psychiatrist seems great she likes plants she's funny I feel good about this she cancels an appointment I try to make a new one no one calls me back for a month I get a new appointment she cancels I get a new appointment she doesn't show up I'm calling and calling and leaving voicemails no one calls me back I still have refills until July 28th I call everyday the last week of July to make an appointment because I need her authorization for my refills now I call my pharmacy to ask for help because I'm running out of meds and no one is helping me every time I go off my meds it's very bad for everyone and I start doing drugs I don't wanna be off my meds anymore my pharmacy calls her the day of my refill she denies the refill I can't even get a few pills until I get a new appointment because she's denied it and they can't do anything if she denies it I call my general Doctor she prescribes me for two weeks I leave a crazy voicemail on my psych's machine she never calls me back I can't get a new appointment I called all day everywhere no one is taking new patients I don't know what to do
did you get all that?
my issue with this situation isn't even really about me directly. it ***** for me but if I end up off my medication I know I can always buy it online illegally or just do dissociatives to keep me from being violent or hurt myself or anything remotely alarming.
my issue with this is I know a woman who sees my ex-psychiatrist. she is not well. she goes into these catatonic episodes and can't do anything. she hides out for months. she's in an abusive relationship. she doesn't eat. she can't talk sometimes. she needs someone to do more for her than just have her show up. she needs people to be actively involving themselves. she needs intense help and I know her appointments were canceled as well.
I can't stand the thought of how many people are in this field who are not doing their job. how unprofessional to literally cancel my refills the day I need a refill because I need to "make an appointment" like ***** I haven't been trying?
what kind of ****** up spiteful **** is that?
that's not right. I don't even know HOW to deal with this. I feel like what she did is illegal or at least negligent. but also that this is something that must happen all the time because these people know they are treating people who are unwell and maybe don't know how to help themselves.
I don't know. I wanted to share this in hopes someone has dealt with something similar and knows the next step or if there's something I can do to have my psychiatrist dealt with. do I call the facility? do I talk to someone about it? who? she knows I don't know the first thing about how to do this and I know I'm not the only one.