Childhood memories
More pleasant than I remembered.
Growing up
I thought they were all bad.
It’s almost laughable to realize
I had no idea how bad
Bad could be.

As a child I felt alone rejected
Only true blood could be counted upon.
With everyone else I was always
Looking over my shoulder
Not paranoid so much as sensitive
To the spirits of those around me.
I learned to follow those instincts
To survive.
Instincts that keep you safe
Even from those you love.

But at least when I was young
There were friends at school.
Someone to share the secrets with.
Who am I kidding;
I kept my secrets.
I’ve never really trusted.
Therein, of course,
Being the root of my problem.

Childhood friend have gone.
Not a one remains to talk to
Co-workers are just that.
Outside of work they don’t exist
As I don’t exist to those around me.

My epitaph will probably read,
Who was she?
I think I’ve even forgotten
How to make friends.
I don’t even bother with the effort.
Out of sight, out of mind.
I am content to be alone.
Although I wish it weren’t so.
I would open up and enjoy
If I could just remember how.
    © 7/31/2003