Jul 2016
Things aren't going in my favour..
It's like the universe conspires against me
May be I don't deserve her,
May be I am not good enough
What happened? Where did I go wrong?
There is a wall between me and my abilities
I let them down... I let myself down. I don't know what to do
Why?
Why can't I just do this, this one thing?
I don't feel like going out.. I don't want them to see my weakness
I don't want to be happy, because this important thing has become the centre of my universe, and my inability to do this is ruining my self worth
Can I ever be happy?
Can I take this load off my mind, these shackles that make it hard to breathe?
The weight of the world and its responsibilities is slowly killing me
I'll fix it, I'll try and fix it.. Its been three weeks, I know I am late, but I will fix it, even though there are a hundred others things I can get done
I know I can do this, I have done it before.. and yet, there is a lurking fog in my mind that is not letting me think clearly
I wish I could just give everything up
I don't want to be with them, I don't want to be the worthless ******* in the room, in any room. I don't deserve them anyways
I happened to land the job my chance, I don't know if I am good enough for it
Would she ever notice me? .. why would she ever love someone like me?
I think I don't love myself. I don't know how
The night is good.. no people. No one to deal with, no one to remind me of how incompetent I am at life. Escaping
Let me take a nap, I think it'll help sort my thoughts out
... I'll do it later. I'm not in the mood right now, not feeling it
I am scared. I am lonely
I wonder how much easier everyone's life would be, if I just died, or never existed..
It's like the universe conspires against me
May be I don't deserve her,
May be I am not good enough
What happened? Where did I go wrong?
There is a wall between me and my abilities
I let them down... I let myself down. I don't know what to do
Why?
Why can't I just do this, this one thing?
I don't feel like going out.. I don't want them to see my weakness
I don't want to be happy, because this important thing has become the centre of my universe, and my inability to do this is ruining my self worth
Can I ever be happy?
Can I take this load off my mind, these shackles that make it hard to breathe?
The weight of the world and its responsibilities is slowly killing me
I'll fix it, I'll try and fix it.. Its been three weeks, I know I am late, but I will fix it, even though there are a hundred others things I can get done
I know I can do this, I have done it before.. and yet, there is a lurking fog in my mind that is not letting me think clearly
I wish I could just give everything up
I don't want to be with them, I don't want to be the worthless ******* in the room, in any room. I don't deserve them anyways
I happened to land the job my chance, I don't know if I am good enough for it
Would she ever notice me? .. why would she ever love someone like me?
I think I don't love myself. I don't know how
The night is good.. no people. No one to deal with, no one to remind me of how incompetent I am at life. Escaping
Let me take a nap, I think it'll help sort my thoughts out
... I'll do it later. I'm not in the mood right now, not feeling it
I am scared. I am lonely
I wonder how much easier everyone's life would be, if I just died, or never existed..
From anxiety, depression and self inflicted mental scars. No one should feel like this, no one should have to live feeling like a burden on themselves and others. If you feel like this, please seek help. The world is a wonderful place to be in, and people are very accepting. Love yourself, be kind, and remember, things ALWAYS get better.
