This is the third letter I write about you, hopefully the last. Hopefully all the ones I wrote including this one will paint the picture of both my feelings as they are, and my thoughts.

I've said alot in the past few days, maybe weeks. I've let my thoughts roam in a bid to understand you. But as all things go, I might've lost myself in that thinking.

I lost myself to the innocent feelings I felt for you, and as fun as that was I needed to awaken in a way from them. To think about exactly what I want from you, and I guess I made up my mind.

We are friends already, I want us to be friends, I want us to stay friends.

I should apologise for my fooling around, what I've been doing is kind of insensitive. You've come out of a relationship and though I've mentioned this so many times I do think its because its that important. With the promises I've made of waiting for you I think I've given you a false image, though I had meant them at the time I've realised that that's not what I want.

What I want is you, not in the love struck, in the form of pure desire, physical want.
But also I enjoy spending time with you, working with you and talking as awkward as that is at times and doing what we've been doing. Our friendship as it was and is, is what I want.

Lets leave this thing of love and relationships, this thing were I seem to be pursuing you, I think its too early to be dealing with the matters of the heart, for the both of us. So I'll stop doing the things that seem to be based on emotions and require reciprocation, because doing them now would be shallow.

Let's talk of travel and places we've never been, lets spend free moments in between work watching series in each others arms as we do, lets spend nights sharing the same "bed" as that is, lets spend hours working on our archistudies and such when we are together. I don't think doing this is a thing of the heart, I think its both out of convenience and desire that's makes this happen.

I think that's the type of friendship that works for us, I don't think I really care much right now about where we end up, more I care for getting what I need to be done and I'm sure you're the same.

Lets be friends, like friends as we are suppose to be, and I'll stop this childish I've been playing as fun as it was. Let's do what we can, what we want to, whether that's taking road trips together, or simply chilling indoors, whether that's working together, or going out for a snack. These things aren't only meant for lovers.

It's not as if I stopped caring, I've started to care in a deeper way, a more mature way. The way I should to make us work.

Lets be us as we should be.

Your friend
CALM THOMAS