she woke up that morning
and the layers has started to peel back again
she picked at them
exasperated and exhausted
she thought she was done transforming for now
she had just grown accustomed to this new self

she was tired from growing
looking around at the molted skin scattered around
the toxic, previously inescapable thoughts
freshly wrung from her mind
the remnants of self love rekindled
carefully tended into a warm, healthy fire again
the memories finally sorted
returned gently to their rightful place in her mind
placed gingerly in their box to accumulate dust
before she would return to them again someday
air them out with a disconnected nostalgia
that can only come with time

and that was when she felt it in her bones
a premonition
an understanding that this was reality
that change would be constant from now on

she had to ground herself in the knowledge
that it would be okay
to relieve the anxiety
of remaining in emotional purgatory
to quell the fear
that she would never feel normal again

so now
when the answers evaded her
and the newfound familiarity that she clung to
melted away with the peeling layers
she took a deep breath
and patiently kept searching