I said I wouldn't write about you just yet
And I won't.

Another. A face, celebrate
Its the last night of your show
Like mint candies hung around my neck
I found a new appreciation for the greenery
Tripping acid will do that to you.

I see things in a way
That was there before
But even more imaginative, free
I'll never forget
The closing in of the darkness
And the way my body looked outside
My skull 3 times its size.

I'm tired
For once, I feel tired
I have grown restless
In this place that oppresses with its perfection
I'm so use to hitting the pavement
And so scared of what I must do
Just don't let me return
With a pink garter on
The final night I saw myself
And knew I'd gone too far
But it got your attention.

It got your attention
As you parade and hide from your innermost truth
I admitted today
I can no longer hide and settle
Wear my sleeveless green dress
As you oohed and oozed
Where do you go when all is lost?

A sense of lightness, release
I no longer bury myself in the ground
For what I cannot control
But I do wonder
Do I flicker through your mind, at times?

He said my name twice
The ex who left me for dead
Because he was too much of a mess
And I don't know what anything will look like
But I found an old ripped up note
Where I was reassuring myself of the love with another
Who is now married
And not to me.

And I thought the other day
Thank god,
He was always, really
Pretty mean
And abundantly controlling.

A key and mirror facing my chest
A picture I drew long ago
It looks like me now.

I should have written more
I should have outlined more
This this this this this this this this
I miss every bit of everything I don't have

You must be asleep.
Perhaps you will greet me in the morning

But for now
I just really need opportunities
So why wait.