stability only lasts so long
when at any moment i could break
                                                     myself into pieces

presently, gently wading,
floating on the surface

presently
waiting

dragged beneath myself
devoured by the beast
pulling me

down
          down
                    down

to a place inside myself that i have not yet discovered
a place even i dont recognize

is it self harm if you dont do it on purpose?
am i hurting myself if i want it to stop?

im a depressed maniac
BANGING!
BANGING!!
BANGING!!!
on the door to my cranial corridor

im a manic depressive
slipping
              slipping
                  ­          slipping
into my grave

a grave that has been dug
for me
and by me

i **** myself on the inside
only to awake in the hell i swore i just escaped