It's not that I'm not loved.

I am. I know

I know that I have friends and family who love me

and I know that even you, darling, love me. I guess..

But why is it that....

I am never loved the most?

I know, spare me the lecture, I know that I am loved

but I also know that time spent with me is stagnant air

times spent with me are cancelled plans with another

times spent with me are a rain check for another day

times spent with me are placeholder names on a table

times spend with me are proxy representatives

time spent with me is pepsi because they ran out of coke


I know I know I am not the sun

I am not the light in anyones lives

and I am certainly not the center.

I do not stand out

I do not distinguish myself

I am not outstanding

and I am barely scratching the threshold

of just "ok"


I know that you loved me

and maybe you still do.

and I really hope you're happy with her now

but know I still wonder why

why is it you loved her more.