everything changes; I've learned to find that your eyes play different emotions with each of the seasons; I never knew a person could be so much of everything all at once.

I turned to liquor instead of facing myself in the mirror. it's hard to see straight when alcohol is buzzing in your brain. I think the only thing that could make me focus is if you were standing next to me.

I hated myself more than I could ever hate you and I'm left with the word sorry cut on my tongue. and I was too busy cleaning up the spill on my own clothes to realize how much blood was stained on yours.

I realized I don't want just one person. I wanted a piece of everyone, knowing the entire worlds darkest fears and greatest loves. i tried to be selfless and allow everyone else to take away every ounce of love from my body and keep it for themselves. instead I ended up being the girl everyone went to when they wanted to feel something, but not always In an emotional way.

I started placing my alcohol on the top shelf so It wouldn't be as easy to get down when I wanted to forget everything on my mind. or when I wanted the world to melt away. or when I wanted all my memories to stop dancing in my brain.


I met you and ****, the universe seemed microscopic compared to your mind. you thought it was too much for everyone to explore, and I began to find I didn't need an invite to know the names of all the stars and the galaxies within it.

I had plentiful people to supply me with pick-me-ups when I felt a little down but having a lot of friends who don't care leaves you empty at night with a handle of ***** and **** I've never felt so alone in a room full of people.

november ended, and I'm not sure if it was for better or for worse, having someone love you who you don't love back, or having no one to love you at all.