I found myself rocking on the floor again today
But I don't know how I got down there or how I felt so calm.
As you screamed at me trapped in the bathroom
I felt a smile slowly creep on my face
As I imagined myself taking my razor out of my pocket and using it to slice your face open.
It looked so beautiful covered in blood
With your jaw hanging open
And hearing you scream at me to stop.
I did like you for a while
When you cried it made me feel better because now you can know how it feels to constantly be in agony
Writhing and clenching your stomach
Coughing blood
Every.
Single.
NIGHT!!!!!
And as your voice got louder and louder
I began to laugh
Because your anger was so intriguing.
When you threaten to **** me
It gets me so high
I feel like a kid on Christmas day.
Im not suicidal but if you put the gun to my head I'll do whatever I can to get
You to pull the trigger
If you held a knife to my throat
I'd step just a little closer to feel the
Stony ice blade against my already freezing skin.
I'm psychotic mommy I can feel it deep inside.
I can feel it in the clouds
And see the tent in the sky....
The tent....
It makes me think of him
Andi stop laughing for the tender spot that hinders...
The roses start to wither
And the air gets thicker...
I breathe in blood and I noticed I've sliced my throat
But I feel fine
I feel bliss.
If I were a god just for a day
If I had the power to just pick off people one by one
Or take them by the plenty...
Whisk them off of this filthy
Filthy ******* ******* you**
Call a ******* earth.
I'm so pathetic.
So pathetic!!!!!!
IM A HORRIBLE ******* *****!!!
Mommy????
Mommy?? Why do you lock my bedroom door at night when I'm sleeping?
I said I was sorry
And I never wanted to hurt you again.
You said Daddy died but why is he standing above you??
Mommy please don't go.
I'll try to be a better child.
Why do you hate me??
YOU STUPIDFUCKING *****!!
ANSWER ME!!!!
I love you..