When I am a thousand miles away and you are seemingly a million more here where I trade the sun for rain dwell in the intermittent patches of grey I distract myself in gardens green study madala art of spider weaves decaying, diaphanous maple leaves the cool of wet mud wriggling around my toes and yesterday the black birds watching me disturbingly, the cawing crows and I could hardly think or speak as I dialed you long distance on the phone.