Why did you do it
My eyes feel as if they have been placed
On the countertop of stimulation
Can't fully process it all
Such love, such sweat, such passion
I cried in little moments through out the day
Napped in the bed next to my mother
You were the first and last thing
To plague my mind today.

I'm really not sure why
But you kept coming up
My brother never would have liked you
And for the first time
I see it all with such an awareness
But I wish you and your mama
Would stop acting like I did harm
Don't you see people are dying?
Don't you see that we aren't immortal
Don't you see that it takes up so much
To give hate
To shed negativity
To block, turn your back away

Are you just humiliated I leapt over you?
Picking up the pieces of what never was around me
I wonder what caused it
Who said it, what branded it
As if its some difficult mathematical equation
I was in such a strong place
Most days
And something about the vulnerability
Of really being honest with it all
Airing the laundry with no apology
And then the abrupt sound of a car screetching
As I saw you could not bear
You could not bear
Why.

I may never get an answer
But its you whose turn it is to cry.