last night i laid in bed next to my sister
and recounted the ways we had both
tried to squeeze ourselves
into the sausage casing
society said we should fit into
how she spent 2 years waiting
until 2 pm to allow her body nourishment
how i had made it to 27 and suddenly
had the epiphany that i could
starve myself to the size i wanted be
how our father and grandfather
spent endless moments passing
judgments on our bodies and
smashing us into the ground
with each pound that graced our wide hips
how she told everyone she
was a runner, but couldn't
hide from her roommates worried
glances at her bones poking through
workout clothes that never got a
drip of sweat on them
how i taught young girls to love
themselves day after day,
while i shook and trembled from
the lack of love i had for myself
last night we laughed about how
skewed our views had become
from our grandma and mother
telling us their weight, analyzing
their curves in the mirror as we
laid in their beds watching and learning
i vowed to harbor a warrior in my
womb one day who i could speak
freely with about the horrors of
self hatred and hopefully instill
a strong foundation of faith in self
i hope one day i raise someone
who never looks in the mirror and
wishes pieces of herself away
i hope one day i raise someone
who sees herself fully, not just as a shell
of a human worth nothing more than
the label on her clothes and
the number on the scale
i hope one day i raise someone
who sees herself most worthy of love