Jun 2016
I want a reason to write again,
A way to compile my thoughts like letters and slot them, neatly folded into envelopes and store them as keepsakes in my mind.
I want a reason to grip my life with both hands I guess but then again perhaps it's time I let life take me for a ride.
Hop into the passenger seat, shot gun, grinning wildly as the whole thing takes off with me.
And it is taking off with me - my life that is.
At 257 kilometers per hour, per day and for once I'm flinging up my arms, touching the sky, screaming "THANK YOU GOD" for this trip each time I manage catch my breath. Because the whole world is spinning and I don't want it to stop.
You see there hasn't been any time to pick up a pen and jott this all down.
Half the time the moments are so good I don't even want to take a picture because I'm etching the memory into my mind, the sounds of my own laughter ringing in my cells when I collapse into my bed late at night. That's what reminds me that it's been a good day.
It's been months now and there hasn't been a day that's gone past where I haven't laughed and not the shallow kind that we all do where we see a meme or our friend cracks a joke. No I mean REALLY laugh and I guess I forgot what that felt like or perhaps I never really knew.
I never really knew what it felt like to love myself like this because I was always too busy to savour the curves of my body, melt at the sound of my laughter like really fall in love with myself and I think I've finally started to slow down even though everything is speeding up.
I've gotten fatter and I still love myself just the same, I'm just wearing looser jeans and going on more runs and it's all for me.
For once.
Not because I'm worried what people will think but because I want to be healthy and I want to be comfortable when I study till 3AM.
See life is dragging me by my hand full steam ahead and for once I don't feel like I'm walking some tortured path.
See I don't walk anymore, I sprint
and I don't giggle, I actually laugh till I ache.
And I wear my hair naturally
and I wear blue lipstick
and black clothes
and I don't feel the need to apologize for a danm thing because I actually like myself.
So maybe I don't need to write it all down because living is enough.
This sheer bliss- oh it's more than enough and I'm more than okay - even on my bad days.
A way to compile my thoughts like letters and slot them, neatly folded into envelopes and store them as keepsakes in my mind.
I want a reason to grip my life with both hands I guess but then again perhaps it's time I let life take me for a ride.
Hop into the passenger seat, shot gun, grinning wildly as the whole thing takes off with me.
And it is taking off with me - my life that is.
At 257 kilometers per hour, per day and for once I'm flinging up my arms, touching the sky, screaming "THANK YOU GOD" for this trip each time I manage catch my breath. Because the whole world is spinning and I don't want it to stop.
You see there hasn't been any time to pick up a pen and jott this all down.
Half the time the moments are so good I don't even want to take a picture because I'm etching the memory into my mind, the sounds of my own laughter ringing in my cells when I collapse into my bed late at night. That's what reminds me that it's been a good day.
It's been months now and there hasn't been a day that's gone past where I haven't laughed and not the shallow kind that we all do where we see a meme or our friend cracks a joke. No I mean REALLY laugh and I guess I forgot what that felt like or perhaps I never really knew.
I never really knew what it felt like to love myself like this because I was always too busy to savour the curves of my body, melt at the sound of my laughter like really fall in love with myself and I think I've finally started to slow down even though everything is speeding up.
I've gotten fatter and I still love myself just the same, I'm just wearing looser jeans and going on more runs and it's all for me.
For once.
Not because I'm worried what people will think but because I want to be healthy and I want to be comfortable when I study till 3AM.
See life is dragging me by my hand full steam ahead and for once I don't feel like I'm walking some tortured path.
See I don't walk anymore, I sprint
and I don't giggle, I actually laugh till I ache.
And I wear my hair naturally
and I wear blue lipstick
and black clothes
and I don't feel the need to apologize for a danm thing because I actually like myself.
So maybe I don't need to write it all down because living is enough.
This sheer bliss- oh it's more than enough and I'm more than okay - even on my bad days.
