i'll never leave the place
with gray cloudy skies
threatening to rip open
at any time
and the sun sometimes shines
just enough to know it's there
intense brief glimpses
then disappears
and the girl i love more
than anything before
always and forever
never together
nothing is innate
life's cruelest ironies
always testing my fate
at night i'll sit on my back porch
and smoke an Amsterdam ****
listen to the world unwind
and dream of what i'll never have
it's all in my mind
the constant battle
who am i kidding
i'll never leave
Seattle