These three years are a bleached, bitterly bluegray frozen, tundra- full of shallow graves, where I have buried my companions, dreams, and thin ice, traveled with careful steps, cherished occasional fires, to warm the permafrost around my heart, I follow ghosts made of frost, who seldom speak, but never fail to remind me that I am lost.
I just feel frustrated and lonely today. I have been looking back over the last 3-4 years and realize that I have so little to show for my hard work. And I wonder why I try.