did I ever really love him? its been almost three months
since I’ve seen him and he feels like a ghost.
my memories are washed out, and they all feel like
they happened years ago
or didn’t happen at all.
I read everything
I’d ever written to him or about him
and I do not remember even picking up the pen.
did I ever really love him?
or did I let him grow inside of me
like a virus and then flush him out of my system,
never to be seen again?
maybe he was a sickness, and maybe he crawled
inside of me to use me as his home
until he got bored
or I got wiser.
did I ever really love him?