I sit here clenching my fists

Staring at this paper unwelcoming

Blank can mean a lot of things but today I cant think

I cant stay alive

I’m sorry friend I need to **** my mind

This paper in front of me as blank as my plans for the future
and every time I try to draw its as sloppy and flawed as my actions
every word I try to write is hectic and frenzied like my thoughts
and I’ve abandoned all meaning all meter and rhyme no longer separated into lines individual but a mass like the demons that corner me when im least expecting like the pain in my teeth when the novocaine wore off I didnt know didnt expect i knew it was coming but i was writhing when it hit just like this and i cant get my mind to slow the ebb and flow because this tornado is killing me the meds dont do much I cant take it much longer!