i am tired
in ways that i cannot explain
the words in my head mean nothing.
the blue in my sky has been scratched out,
painted over. replaced by the need to be better
than her, or her, or her.

this face, everything i hate
hidden beneath painted lips and eyelashes
every piece of skin
every fold, every wrinkle
there is no one who can erase time.
it has never been
about her-
the only war i fight is with myself.