You held me there,
beneath your thick-skinned, heavy-hand
wrapped tightly round the frames
of my feeble heart strings.

You pushed all your fears
of my absence
into a weight I placed
deep beneath my ribcage.

Hollow and heavy,
I begged to be
the lucky one.

Recollected and spoon fed,
it took me a moment,
to see that the hand I clung to
so desperately,
was the same
that gave my demons all their energy.

And I suppose I was hypnotized,
by the way you could kiss doubt
into the back of my neck,
and call it something else.

But one day I fell asleep,
all alone
and woke to see
somewhere in my sleepwalk,
I had crawled out from underneath.
Just to find you,

far away

but still,
looking back at me.