I have gone years searching,
among bottles and prescriptions
for what is behind me

lost in shadows when the sun shines
in leftover puddles
when the rains stopped

the tears flowing , I have been
lost and saved sanctified in the
best embraces twenty dollars

could buy, all the gold spent on
chasing that goal of being
like everyone else's happiness

awaking to piled up regrets
and empty bags of dope,
searching the bottom

for that true meaning
of things, when it was right there
inside me.