As always without you
I am a pile of withered ashes

Brokeness that can't heal
Not alone at least

As always I realize another mistake
Another flaw of mine

Another reason I have lost you
**** babe

I tried so hard not to love you
To not need you
To not miss you
But your soul
Has always been a part of mine
And even when others said you
Were completely insane
I said that your craziness was mine

**** sweetie pie
I freaking miss you
You were my best friend
And even though
You could forgive
You couldn't forget
And even though You didn't understand
You tried so hard to
And I think you knew
The contours of my soul
More than anyone ever will

Because ****** baby
You were my eclipse
Always passing through
Sometimes you'd brighten everything
Other times make it so dark
And every once in a while you
Would make it both
And it would be beautiful
We never worked
But we wanted to so badly
We fought for years
Until we quit

And I still miss your little scar
And your freckles
I miss your weird appetite
And I miss your fear
Of hugging me when I cried
I wish you were here
Because I'm a bigger mess without you

Some love stories aren't perfect
Some don't have a happy ending
I know ours didn't
But it was still amazing.