I had held you,
At some point in time
I know that are bodies were embracing.
That we were entwined with the stars
Making constellations with our figures
As your eyes danced while you slept.
My stomach was tying itself in knots,
So the caterpillars and butterflies wouldn't escape
They were so frantic,
Like my insides had been set alight
And they were drowning in the smoke
That had dried my vocal chords,
Robbing me of my words.
My mind had forced me to remember
Every sprinkle of freckles on your body,
Every scraggly hair that adorned it
And rubbed against my face,
As I dug my grave deeper in your chest.
I had held you,
In the winter, but it felt like hell
Fiery and treacherous,
I had convinced myself
That it was the fire of love
Burning passionately in my wax heart,
But it had already melted away by then.
The flame eating away at the oxygen in my chest
Void of the love that would cradle me like a child,
Branding hate that felt like open sores.
I had held you.
I kept you in my arms
Selfishly refusing to throw you back once I had caught you,
Expending your life like a fish gasping for water.
You had died
And what replaced you beared no resemblance
To anything I thought I had known.
I had held you
And you pried my arms open
Leaving me to hug the wind as it cried out with my soul.
I had held you,
And I hold you still.
Embracing the ghost of you
As its eyes dance behind its eyelids.

-SLuR