wandering
through the shadows
of my childhood

trying
so hard
to create light from the darkness

reading
pain like Braille
all alone

listening
for laughter
hearing only tears

where
were you
when I reached out

looking
the other way
pretending all was well

ignoring
the bruises
deaf to my cries

running
is what I have been doing
three decades away from the land of my birth

hoping
that distance
would erase the past

pretending
it didn't happen
but it did

returning
at last
to look into the abyss

embracing
for the first time in fifty years
the sum total of who I am

giving
thanks for the past
for all that it is


looking
into the mirror
and finally seeing who is there