In this story I don't keep secrets
And tell you all about
Gunshots and fireworks
How they both sound the same
I always sit next to a window
Or a door
If it leads outdoors
I hate black and dark, small spaces and walls
Loud noises remind me of showers
And water pelting on empty tiles
Silence feels like loss
Or the calm before the storm I could never trust
But it's not that serious
I can take the loud and the silence
The gunshots and the fireworks
You won't even be able to see me flinch in the fraction of a millisecond it takes for you to blink
Nothing is serious
I laugh about everything
Even pain
And death
And how they were lucky to get an early exit ticket on this crazy ride
My biggest problem is I could never let things slide
Always questioning age old sanctions
I could never keep my mouth shut
Eyes closed
Feet moving forward
Maybe that's why I'm always changing
I'm different to who I was yesterday and last week
I don't even recognise the me years ago
The world was different then
It has ended for me many times
And began again in the morning
Sometimes when I'm toppling over and my insides can't contain the life
I don't have any room for oxygen
But you'll never know that
No one does
I'm good at hiding
And pretending
Make shift scenarios
Finding solutions
They work for me even if there's flaws in the theory behind them
I free fall in and out of everything
Planning never made any sense
Not when I didn't know where I'd be
I like running
On treadmills, on pavements, on planes
When it gets too comfortable I have an urge to rock the boat
New things keep you awake
And fresh
By the time you figured it out
It's time to move on