Just so you know
I am perfectly aware of how unfeeling
and unaware I am to the world.

I tend to ignore things.
Or at least means I don't know about them,
or at least pretend not to.

See,
when you pretend not to care
or see or hear anything,
you have to be in full character.

That means no thinking.
I've been doing that for years.
May be that's why I am so unaware of everything around me.

And the only thing I think
I'm going to squash out of existence
when I step out into the real world.

Which was why I was perfectly fine living with my mom for as long as possible.

That least that was until recently.

Recently

I've been thinking a lot.
I find myself day dreaming more
and not just staring off into space practicing to keep a blank mind
.Full on day dreams too.

Then I started wanting more.
I find myself questioning.
I find myself worrying.
I find myself wanting to understand as to why this was happening.