I am not
who I want to be
like the addict
with the needle
I'm stuck on
being feeble
seeing moments
and not seizing them.

In the mirror
my reflection is
that of someone I recognize
like the friend
who always seeks advice
but never follows it
my mind is
a schematic of pipes
that do not connect.

My intentions
drip from my
open ends
once real and
once there
each one
broken by distraction.

My focus is
honed in to the
weight of the world
like the single mother
spread too thin
fighting this many battles
I'll never win.

My content heart
seems to depend on
factors outside myself
like the young girl
caught in the politics of
middle school social hierarchy
I can't make decisions
when I can't hear myself.

Listening to my intuition
is something I've
forgotten to do
it's muscle memory
like tying a shoe.

It's seizing moments
reflecting on my life
living according to morals
and recognizing that action
sometimes belies intent
and it is then that
apologies are necessary
they are
not signs of weakness
when they are used right.

It's focusing on
the right things
in deep
meaningful doses
making sure to stop
and smell the roses
to your heart's content.