My dad, with depression

It's probably not a new thing
There are other things to think about, talk about, walk and live our lives about,

We never talked about it
Until we did

I wasn't wearing my glasses ; I cried
You cried
Mum came in
I cried again
I cried in the shower and I cried into my breakfast, staring off into the distance

I've always known
I realise that now - I've always known
It all fits, a poster book

My dad, with depression

To paraphrase a friend, it *****
It ***** for you, and it ***** for my brother
Who'll grow up with these experiences and yet have no name for them
Accept them as normal
Until one day there not
One day you're old enough and yet you're somehow never old enough to hear that

It continues
I continue to attempt understanding
We don't talk about it
Sometimes I talk to Mum
Half truths ; not saying the words
I am not built to do this
Is anyone?

A whole history, hidden from me, is revealed
Of medicine and doctors and councillors
I don't know how my brother feels about it ; I don't know how to feel about it

My dad, with depression

Time rolls on, and I with it