weight in my head
weight in my chest
i am on all fours

i am dying but not externally
my brain sends chemical imbalances
like daily mail

i shouldn’t be alive

my body is a mistake
my thoughts are bound
to send me to an early grave
the air always feels so thick

suffering is invisible
i look in the mirror,
see it in the ghostly reflection
of my eyes

I am only half a soul

don’t be afraid
of the dark
but that is all that is inside of me
unknown, cold and unbearable
most days i wonder how i’m loved

monsters are only tamed, not encouraged
it’s a shame that i groom myself down
to not show the impurities that crack me open
and leak out onto the floor

look at my shaking hands, am I alive?
is this a dream?

please wake me, please cure me