happiness is being able to
look yourself in the bathroom mirror
at 2 o'clock in the morning
and feeling genuinely happy
with the reflection looking back at you

it's not the fetal position
when your world is hushed
and your thoughts roaring

it's not the claustrophobia clawing
in your chest and your mangled sheets

it's not dancing around
and laughing with your friends
deluding yourself from the truth

there's no such thing as fake it
until you make it,