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Mar 2016
Every moment of the past 33 years I have hidden
Behind this veil of vanity
Covering every doubt and self destructive thought with a  lie of arrogance
Seems that the scars of the past still exist
Deep down under the woman you see
Lies the scared, unsure, timid little girl
That was bullied and torn down
Not  just by her peers but also by those she gave her love and trust to
Never truly able to be herself, so scared of judgement
Terrified of rejection
No one could every really love her, because reality was that she never exposed her true personality
As a young child she put on shows
Pranced around in all the jewlery and pretty clothing she could find
Begging for the attention, she couldn't give herself
Over achieving at every task
Desperately  trying to mold herself to what others wanted her to be
Bragging of her beauty and exposing her body
All in a failed attempt to draw attention away from the mortified child inside
So photogenic, so prissy and proper
So damaged, so broken
Would she eventually believe the ruse she had performed for so long?
Or would she become more and more disguised by the veil hanging heavy over her face
Her breathe becoming quick and labored
Her skin beginning to sweat from the heat of the sun
Everything spinning, becoming dizzy
Until this reality becomes the only option
Until this veil becomes her face for eternity
Leanna Gray
Written by
Leanna Gray
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