Its a long list of things I'd like to say But none can match up To the fact that we no longer talk For reasons I dont care for I was the only one with feelings And you misguided me Held my hand and lied to me Told me you felt the same But when push came to shove Light bulbs went out Breakers were turned off And every square mile Lost power in your heart My idiocy led me to believe It could still work Candles I lite Just to find my way to you But nothing was enough We waged war against each other I fought to show you Feelings can travel any distance Its the effort of reaching That's too much for you It doesn't matter anymore This will be my last poem to you You're a weight on my mind Wondering if you're ok If work has been any better If you still think of me I want to say I dont care In reality I would be lying You drove me crazy for 3 years Even when I couldn't talk to you Or when I failed to keep a promise I have done nothing but love you And that was my fault You'll probably tell I'm not to blame Dont worry, I still have conversations With your voice in my head And sure that makes me sound insane But we both already knew That's what made me a better writer If I could change anything It would be the distance That kept us apart for so long Yet when finality of words comes So to does my last I love you I've written you a total of 8 letters Each I burned Because the phrase up in smoke Applied for 3 years worth of love Of tears you shed that I couldn't wipe away Of lonely nights I couldn't get you through Of restless days when the weight Of everything took its toll Maybe it really is best for a final goodbye For one last poem One last sign That my feelings were true But with every passing second I realize everything was just a lie You never really loved me You had to love the idea of me There's not much to love in me Its all violence and chaos Desolation within twisted compulsions That always seem to throw me back Into the lions den of emotions Tabitha, I still have your number Its written on every wall in my head I memorized it so I wouldn't forget That on the other line of that number Was a voice repeating simple You're crazy And the way you tried to go ghetto When you're as white as mayo I really hope everything is at its best I'm sure it got better with me gone And I didn't forget your birthday I just didn't want to bother you I figure me gone Makes a happier you So its time for me to go