Your home will shatter

Emotionally not physically

The wood panels still fused

But your security dissipated

Dishes still in the kitchen sink

But your routine in shards



You will pack up

Backpack up on your back

And down on the ground

In your new compound

You will attempt to create anew

And you will

But it is unlike before

It will never be like before



So you will try a return

You will, desperately,

Grasping for breath,

Ride your bike to that old gate

That old entrance to that previous exit



But I regret to inform you,

It is no longer your home

He might invite you in but only to see a new couch

Some other woman is in the groove

But it’s not even the one you once made

The bathroom will look the same

Same  portrait

Same book on top of the toilet

But a new towel hangs

And it’s no longer the perfume of your shampoo filling the room



I am so sorry but

You will feel like you are in a bad dream

Everything is familiar

Everything is yours in a no longer tucked away memory

It is still real if you open it and prolong it

It is still yours in some existence

Where that moment froze and never stopped

But it is changed

At the same exact time

It is hurdling forward as fast as it is still

It is as foreign as it is memorized

Everything is off on the same track



I am sorry but you can never go home