I hope one night, ten years from now, you awake from a deep sleep.
With a trail of cold sweat dripping down your spine, you try to steady your breathing as to not wake your wife sleeping by your side.
It's four AM in a quiet suburban town, the air is still while your son is sleeping down the hall.
You hold your chest as you think of the dream you just had about a girl with auburn hair and piercing green eyes. Suddenly you felt as though your heart had stopped.
Because you hoped you had forgotten about her, and how she made you feel, that is until now.
But not me, I never forgot.
So I hope you remember… The first time you held the door for me and told me that I was pretty. The first time I caught your eye. When I thought you were unlike any other guy. How you made silly excuses just to talk to me. When we had our first date and we hugged goodbye. How we talked every night without fail. Fumbling over our first kiss. The plans we made and the promises we kept.
I hope you remember… The first time you held my hand and told me I was beautiful When you said, “I’m yours.” How welcoming your mother was compared to my timid composure. Not watching the movie we went to see that night. When you said my lips were soft. Not wanting to go back home because I found a home in you. How you took my breath away. The night you held me so tightly that the rest of the world could’ve came crashing down around us but I was safe from its demise. That same night when you asked me to be your girl, and I couldn’t deny the butterflies in my stomach. The nights I lied awake because of you running through my mind.
I hope you remember… The first time you held my waist and told me that I was ****. When you asked to see if my lips were still soft. How you kissed me so hard I couldn’t breathe, but I found solace in the suffocation. How you ignored me and all I wanted was your love. The night you didn’t kiss me goodbye. How I was too naïve to realize I was losing you. When you told me you were too busy. The night I cried for hours because you neglected my happiness. The nights I lied awake, hoping you’d answer my texts, calls, anything.
I hope you remember… The last time you held your breath, as I held mine, and you told me things weren't fine. You told me you didn't feel the same as you did at the start and that now things are falling apart. When you said to just give it time and things might work out. When you saw me for the first time since that day and you didn’t have anything to say. When I heard all the stories you were telling about me. How you broke my heart all over again. When I found out about her, and you, when you should’ve been with me. How I had to pick myself up and be my own protection from the world crashing down around me. How I now have to live with these memories when you seem to have forgotten them all.
I hope you remember it all every time you close your eyes, every time you blink. That way you will never again be able to sleep a wink. I hope you know I adored you. I hope the pang of remorse you feel after this dream hits you like a strike of lighting, because you beat the odds. I hope you know you’re the one that gave up. I hope I live in the back of your head, making you regret how you broke me into a million little pieces. I hope I haunt your thoughts every second of the day, because I'm the girl you let get away.
I hope you remember it all, because I know I can never forget.