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Feb 2016
My nth attempt of trying to capture you and me
And how you and I are still trying to see
What makes you, you, and what makes me, me
What makes us, us, and what glues us completely
That clues aren't enough to be put together
To try and trace those paper trails to way back
To how I first saw your dark blue polo shirt
And I was nothing but a faceless person in the crowd
Not knowing that I have found
The person to keep me from crying, and breaking
And losing myself, and leading to events
That can make dying a walk in the park
Because falling for you was harder than facing the dark as kid
I couldn't see what was in front of me
There was no map laid out to see
That we would be where we are right now
No warning signs that showed me to take caution
Addition, subtraction, multiplication of emotion
A whirlwind of new fears that came with no instructions
To follow my mind, or to follow my soul
That is the question I did not answer
With no reservations
I stayed in your atmosphere
Like Mayer not wanting to go to LA anymore
But somehow you managed to break me through
And touch my hand, and hold my cheek, and kiss my lips
My eyes were closed, my heart beat fast, my breath stood still
Causing color to run out my face until
You told me you loved me
Which didn't really settle me, instead it made me
More scared of what was for me, that maybe someday
You would say that none of it was real
Or maybe you really don't feel the way that I feel
My whirlwinds became storms
And somehow they became hurricanes
I couldn't control the amount of fears
That falling in love with you could bring my already troubled self
Like trying to read all those books on endless bookshelves
That contained all your stories, and your whole world
And how I could somehow fit myself
Into your library
I started as a name, in one chapter of your life
You didn't have just one book for you, no, you had the whole treasury
Not even shying away from the details of your diverse stories
I walked into your life, and soon enough I was drowning
In books of you, and somehow I liked it, granted
That I let you in on who I really am
Not knowing you've seen just the surface of the exterior I had
And diving in deeper would be harder than planned
Even though I, myself, do not understand
How I can fully let you in
Because I don't have full control over how I think
And how lights were somehow not included in my collection
So you crawled to try to get from story to story, with a little help
You lit up parts of those unknown
To those who I have not shown
My whole entire... Me
Lighting up parts showing that I didn't have a library
I had a broken museum with mosaic pieces that were hard to read
I'm so **** frightened, I have no leads
I'm lost in my own nightmare disguised as mini fantasies
Not much control of what my misery can see
And no pilot in charge of my desolate dreams
You told me you love me
And you said so strongly to me
That I wasn't alone anymore like how I used to be
Restoring my museum slowly to what we want so badly
There's a long way to go, but we've already seen widely
Of this museum I apparently had
My hair will forever be weird, and my face won't ever be that pretty
My words will forever be true, but my actions won't seem like it
My arms will forever be open for you, and my eyes will always see
That the air will always be filled with thank yous and sorries
Hold my hand and we'll face this world with so many worries
But then I'll have you, and you'll have me
We promised
Meg Rivero
Written by
Meg Rivero
280
 
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