I am not going to sit here and cry in this ******* coffee shop.
Eyes welling up, dark red lips
You wanted to come crawl into the moon with me
2am, but you gotta go back
Go back and get Candy
Am I always an after thought?

I know thats not it.
You know thats not it.
Flighty. Selfish. Indulgent.
Excuses, excuses, excuses
If I painted a road map of every crevice and turn
Of every vein and mistake
You have made along the way
I would be covered in stop signs and traffic lights.

I whip out poetic antics in less than a minute
Harvesting newness, paintings
I'm so strong, I'm so strong.
Ain't nobody that can give me catharsis.

I can't teach you anymore.
I can't babysit, I don't know where your mama is
And how or why you don't seem to know
How to properly treat a woman of my caliber.

I want things to get better
I woke up this morning wishing you were next to me
Hanging up, drunk dial
Cancel plans like they don't mean a thing
Dropping to the floor
Just like I'm Trigger Happy Dagger all over again
You betray and dismay me
Just like scars on my wrist didn't mean a thing
To you.
All my warrior women chime and howl
"I just know he's not worth all this pain."

My body recently
Has been dripping, sensation
Longing and waiting
You prefer me as a pretty magazine picture
I've been trying to trap the desire, the need
As you repeat and repeat
How little you act like you need me.

I don't know why I try
Mama says she's think I want to save you, help you.
But I can barely save myself.
You don't even have the follow through to send me a poem
"I will"
You said.
You said
You say
You claim
Its all just ******* words.

I'm not gonna cry in this ******* coffee shop.

Just take me out to dinner
Invite me along
Call me on the telephone
Lie in my bed
Hold my face in your hands
Be my friend
Love me like you know you do.

My pulsing heart can't take anything else.