I was sitting at my computer
All intelligent and nonchalant
When a personality profile test popped up
In the most interesting of fonts

I decided this might be fun
So I clicked onto the site
And right away started answering questions
On what I did and didn't like

As soon as the test was over
With my feet planted firmly on the floor
I hit the button enter
There was immediately a knock upon the door

What appeared to be three business men
All in matching suits and ties
With darkened sunglasses all around
Like Hollywood Movie Stars in disguise

Before I knew what was happening
They threw a hood over my head
And carted me off without the slightest word
Not a single Howdy-Do was said

My new found friends threw me into the trunk
Of a waiting limousine
Where just as quickly as they arrived
We all left the scene

We came to a run down abandoned  Army base
In the middle of the desert
I had the feeling that what it was that was to come
Most certainly wouldn't be pleasant

They set me in the middle of a room
As men circled all around
I knew this had to do with the test
And wondered at it was they found

When in walked "The Bossarooni"
And said don't worry son we're not here to mistreat cha
We're just curious as to why
You like anchovies instead of pepperoni on your pizza