How can I tell you that you have been my rock? My shoulder to lean upon though not physically here. How can I say that I value you more than I can ever express. That when I am down whether or not you know, you bring me cheer. That when I called to you and said please don't leave and you answered with I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I knew then that I was in trouble, that I'd be hard pressed to not have you in my life again. I don't think I'll let you see this. I just don't think I can. I don't want to ruin what we have. I can't bear the thought of losing you my lover, my friend. You are my rock, my devil in disguise. My teacher and lover with obsidian eyes. You're better than you think. I just wish I could let you know. Again I'll never let you see this, I just can't let you go.