the first time i met him
after sixteen absent years
was at the Pinnacles.

it was a good place he said -
i walked into his arms
and time melted away.

maybe too much time

when we climbed to the top
he talked to a stranger
and i sat on a rock
soaking up the November sun.
i heard drums in the distance
they wrapped me up in a memory

the next time
i hiked with my daughters
i got dizzy
felt like i was falling
my heart in my throat.
when the feeling cleared
my daughters had hold of me
asking if i was okay.

a few years later
invited to a journey workshop
i fell off the cliff again
in my shower this time.
i held onto the wall
so i wouldn't be lost to gravity.

and later that day
in the workshop
i saw the whole grisly scene
my warrior husband
lying on the ground
broken baskets and busted pots
my tribe demolished
the enemy advancing

it all became clear
i felt the fear
of being taken
and i jumped