I'm so scared of losing what we have

I don't want to have to forget because the pain of remembering is too intense. I don't want to wait through the empty years until I can finally look back on our time fondly and know I've moved on. I don't want to have the violent and guilt ridden nightmares reminding me of what I've broken. I don't want to feel the engulfing embrace of loneliness or the fantastic freedom of self destruction. I don't want to avoid certain songs that I love to prevent the ugly feelings of shame and regret that carry over every note of the tunes I used to consume with you. I don't want to be forgotten by you
I want you with me, always