You got me
After everything I'd been through
I wasn't a fan
I absolutely did not like that

I wasn't happy about being happy
If that makes any ****** sense
But I wasn't

You had a certain way about you
That I couldn't ignore
No matter how hard I tried

The way you smiled
Laughed
And how I would just see you being happy
Left me in a spot
That I couldn't escape
No matter how hard I wanted to or tried

I still don't like it
Because you have my heart
I am not okay with that
Even if I trust you
It doesn't make it okay

We're all weirdos
And subject to reality
No one can change
How you make me feel
When we are around each other

I worry though
That if it doesn't work out
I will never find someone else
That I share this same connection with

And I'm tired of saying this